I borrowed my uncle’s truck in some alternate vision: we drove Pacific Highway.
I couldn’t imagine the details of the location, except, cliffs and a wayward sun; you were smiling with ruby painted lips, and all that blonde hair was being blown in a California wind.
We’d wind down a road as the stars were comin’ out after that explosion of color, the sunset and I’d make love to you in the bed of that pickup truck, with it’s gate down, pulled up along side some roaring cove.
Wrapped in each other, there was no time, no limit, no future…the present was just you and I with the salt of the beach and all these lights they call stars.
You told me you loved me.
But I saw how your eyes looked westward and away, running faster than jet planes and harder to navigate than the widest ocean- something that I may never catch up to. I reckon, it’s that wild untameable, chaotic thing that pours fire all over to drown me; it’s that glittering unattainable bauble I’ll call your heart.
I sought for you with my hands and grasped at nothing, a ghost and it sent pain through my arms like ice in my veins. A terrible disquietude stole over me and infected my soul; a summer breeze makes me weak, the swell of tide brings me to my knees.
Was it the beauty of spontaneity that made childish hearts glow and did it lose its luster at the weight of mature feelings bloomed? Does the severity of love make you skiddish, so much that you force yourself to flee from feelings that might hold you responsible? For me it was as if my cup runneth over and the next was drained empty at one viscious swallow.
You’ve jumped ship and left the crew looking towards the helm.
And now there’s a mutiny as the ship founders on a muddy shoal.
I am marooned. Come back, rechart these waters, find me where I lay. Sit by my side and explain what cannot be. The eloquence of words, perhaps would be lost, I’d leave them aside for a drink of clear water. I’ve poured over what man may know of heartache and reason and have come out none the wiser.
Lest the moment be lost forever, kiss me once more…I may yet show you how I still cherish the golden illumination of your mouth as spirit may pass to spirit in the ancient custom of love.

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